Bah Humbug...

[stan]

I hate Christmas .

The wife wants lights up on the outside of the house, why who is going to see them? The deer , birds ,

bears and other critters could care less. Then I get up on the ladder and clean out the gutters before I can hang the lights.

So now I have another job to do.

Then the little plywood cutouts of elf's, candy canes all the way down the drive way. By now I am getting crap from my two brothers , because there wife's are wanting the same thing.

Then there is the mistletoe she wants above the door way.

So I have to go out into the dark woods, looking in every dam oak tree until she sees the one she wants that is 25' up the tree,. Back to the house a get the chain saw to cut down a tree, to get the mistletoe. Well that leads to a three hour job of cutting the tree up for fire wood.

Then she brings in the mail and low and behold another

Christmas card from the Power company thanking me for being such a loyal customer. Our power bill is so high from all the lights, we could land a 747 down the driveway if there was enough room.

Now it is time to go out and cut down some innocent tree

just so she can put a $ 900.00 worth of lights and ornaments all over it.

Then the money spent on our kids, that the only time you hear or see from them is when they want to borrow some money or use my tools they never return. I have found out in the last 36 years the word borrow means give me.

Then comes the shopping for all this crap. Wrapping paper that thirty six trees gave up there life for. It is ripped off the presents in seconds. Then in the trash , which end up at the land fill, just gets fuller from all the plastic, cardboard and wrapping paper from Christmas and for what.

Then the endless phone calls and cards from people wishing you a happy or Marry Christmas you have not heard from all year. Why bother me now .

So can someone tell me one good thing about Christmas

that does not evolve any of my hard earned money ?

[FISHINMAN]

Stan The Angry California Man

[ray koziatek]

TURN OFF ALL THOSE STUPID LIGHTS ON A DARK MOONLITE NIGHT,Lay on your back and look at the stars ,And remember the "True Meaning Of Christmas"...

[muskybob]

Good answer Ray.

[skipper19]

Stan, are you big, green, and hairy? Live in a cave on a mountain? and loathe everyone in the phone book? here's a hug for ya Now......... DON'T YA FEEL BETTER!!!!!

[on the lam]

Stan, let me take this opportunity to apoligize in advance of what I am about to say.

I don't completly disagree with your position on Christmas, It is a stressful and expensive time of the year, thus adding unwanted pressure on the "MAN" in the house.

I noticied that you stated that "you" hate Chrismas, then you proceeded to explain how your wife makes you do everything short of dancing on your hands in a santa suit.

So with that said, I would like to say to you what I would say if you were here in NJ and you were one of my good friends.

"Yo Stan, why the F@*K don't you stop squattin when you piss!! tell your wife, Yea I'll set up the elf's, down at the rifle range! F@*K them..... OH! and you want Mistletoe? Here ya go, now that it's hanging you can kiss my A$$ under it!! A tree, sure we can get a tree, get in that car I bought ya and go down to Wal Mart and buy one, Ill set it up after the Niner game and and a twelve pack, fugettaboutit.... Something like that...

Thats how i said it, during my first marriage You don't have to thank me, I consider it a favor for a friend

[Lew]

Stan

What Ray Said

Merry Christmas Stan

[FISHSTALKER]

Stan - You can read my reply in the X-Mass card I will be sending you.

Darlene made me set up the tree and the outdoor lights yesterday. My legs are cramping up and my back is broke. In the back of my mind I know that someday, when I'm gone, she will use my money to hire some kid to do this crap.

[Erbyjoe]

Stan,

I just did the same thing. But when I was done my 11 year old had a smile on her face that was worth it's weight in gold and I would do it again and again to see that Glow of Xmass on her face Talk to me in a couple more years I might be getting in your boat but for now I have to enjoy it as long as I can. Have a merry Xmass. Stan Just think it's almost over

[LongLine]

At least you don't have to shovel the driveway so the inlaws have a place to park before they eat you out of house & home.

Merry Christmas Stan

Tom B.

(LongLine)

ps I always thought "borrowing" mean the kids wanted to play hide & seek.

[FISHINMAN]

"Thats how i said it, during my first marriage"

What's that tell ya Stan?

Ray hit on the head, but with that said I hung lights and stuff at my house (nothing to crazy) and my grand kids will have huge smiles on there faces when they show up at Papa's house and see them

Hey Stan fishing makes you happy and having nice Christmas decorations makes her happy even trade if you ask me. I wish it was that easy for me

Have Merry Christmas Stan and a Happy New Year!

[stan]

Old Nick stopped by , I broke out a new bottle of Johnnie Walker Gold Label . Man the little fat guy with a beard can put some booze away. It is starting to look a lot like Christmas out there

[FX]

Atta boy Stan - ease into the Holiday spirit. Merry Christmas bud, and Happy New Year!

Shawn

[on the lam]

WTG Stan, it appears tht you are starting to feel better about it. Santa looks happy Have a Merry Christmas an a Happy New Year

[FISHINMAN]

How the heck did you get Ray K out there

[LongLine]

Hey stan - Try this next year:

Tom B.

(LongLine)

[rolmops]

The obvious alternative would be to convert to judaism.

BUT then you would have to contend with your now jewish wife laying guilt trips on you ALL year.

[GAMBLER]

How the heck did you get Ray K out there

Tom,

Thats the blow up version.