SOME ASSEMBLY REQUIRED !!!!!

[ray koziatek]

Ah yes those dreaded words etched in 7 different languages on the corner of the box.

Tools Needed:screwdriver

pliers

alignment tool

socket set

allen wrench

ruler

small saw

rubber mallet

safty goggles

ear plugs

Bigger hammer

prying device

3 tubes super glue

1 clean rag

Note : If you actually read the instructions instead of looking for a good photo to do it your way the first 2 tools are all you need!

But after you breakoff tab "B" trying to force it into Slot "C" from diagram 7 pg.127 cutaway 4 ,overview 8.

By that time you will need to hammer and pry the darn thing apart.

cut off all tabs

give the kids safty goggles

put the ear plugs in so you cant hear for the 100th time "I Told You To Read The Instructions"

Break out the super glue .

Use the rag to wipe forhead as to not drip sweat on the instructions (what is left)

If it still doesnt look like photo send kids off to grandmas use large Hammer to smash into itty bitty parts and return to store..

Merry Christmas ,ah yes those were the years............................................

O.M.G.- I got my son a office chair just looked at box in the corner in 7 different languages it says :

SOME ASSEMBLY REQUIRED! NNNNNNNNNNooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

[Gill-T]

Been there done that. It is 5:30 am and the kids are in an opening frenzy already. Coffee hasn't even finished brewing.

[High Bidder]

I felt like a failure when I had to read the instructions to assemble my grandson's new bicycle. I just didn't notice that some of the bolts were left handed. I think the Chinese do that to remind us who is in control. Luckily my wife didn't see me resort to the instructions. I still have some of my pride.

High Bidder

[LongLine]

Been there, done that. That's why I've been buying my kids tools. "you put it together"

Tom B.

(LongLine)

[ericjeeper]

Probably 20 years ago my buddies wife drug home three large boxes of redwood patio furniture.. And on the boxes it said those now hated words.SOME ASSEMBLY REQUIRED.. Well ok first off I am a very crafty carpenter and my buddy is a very talented airplane mechanic.. took us 2 very long evenings to assemble that stuff together.. Now we always just laugh when we read those dreadful words!

[Capt Vince Pierleoni]

Merry Christmas! Great post, Ray. I'm in "inbetween mode". Kids are college age and no grandkids yet. Yes, i'm a directions "skipper", but have you actually looked at them? Broken english, faint printed words that are unreadable anyway. At NO time did whoever concoct the directions ever actually see if they would work for assembly.

I have closed several minor purchases with, "I'll take the floor model". This was often met with, "so sorry sir, but we're not allowed to give you that one". This would result in me asking for a manager and then they would grant my wish. Yes, I have been there enough to understand that even "rocket scientists" and top-flight mechanics would invent new swear words trying to assemble "some assembly required" products. I sure have.

I will finish with this, if you see kids or office furniture made by Sauder, RUN! Same for anything that tries to get by with "illustration only" directions. Can't tell you how many times I've had leftover hardware.

[FISHINMAN]

Wouldn't you like to get the guy that writes those instructions in a room alone

Vince, I agree with the Sauder comment have a computer desk that was a nightmare to assemble

[ericjeeper]

I just posted on this a bit ago.. Then I'll be darnbed if I did not receive a portable gas grill in a box... with those dreaded words... Some Assembly Required!. Took me and the sone almost 40 minutes to put that pile of chinese crap together.. All them wingnuts...Sheesh..

[on the lam]

I have a bit of both... I have older girls one out of college, one in, 24 and 19. (Gucci /Coach) $$ and the little first mate Jake 4 and Abigail 2 1/2. I know thats nuts but I did it. Anyway as I type this I am dealing with back pain that is driving me crazy, which is a result of putting together a slot car set for Jake (2hrs) this morning, as well as a crane set. Its safe to say that if my oldest has kids in the next 5 years i'm in big trouble at Christmas. Send help Merry Christmas

[Big Dave]

Good post Ray!!!! I think there should be a grumpy old guy with a stick in every engeeners work room. When they comeup with something that will be inpossable to work on or put together the grumpy old guy wacks them with the stick till they strighten it out!!! And print the instructions with black ink on white paper so you can read it .

[W.W.IV.]

WoW, looks like theres still work out there for me...

[skipper19]

WoW, looks like theres still work out there for me...

Hey....we should hook up and start a new business! look at all the hours we could get paid 20 bucks for just assembling stuff for birthday gifts and Christmas! Heck those guys will prolly pay more just to keep their sanity.

I need to get outta this truck anyway.

[W.W.IV.]

I'm in Skipper, the stock market used up all my retirement money anyway.

[fishdawg]

I have a 4 year old son, lots of Lego this year and a full size NHL net

[GAMBLER]

I was putting together toys for my son after his birthday and there was a page missing out of the directions !!!!

[1fish2fish]

Back when I was a kid growing up in Oswego, in the late 50s and early 60s, I had a part time job working in a toys, hobbies and sports store known as 'Aero Sporting Goods' (long gone). One of my responsibilities consisted of assembling kids tricycles, bicycles, baby carriages, Red Rider wagons, etc. This was my busiest time of year, so I never looked at the directions, and hardly ever screwed up (kids intuition)!

Now at 66, I need all the help I can get! A couple days ago, my grandson received a 'bunk bed in a box'! Boy, that was the highlight of my day. I took 14 hours, only making 7 mistakes where I had to dis-assemble and re-assemble parts in the right sequence. I followed the pictures in the assembly manual, but still managed to screw it up.

I realized that with age comes some stupidity! I was over thinking the directions and screwing up in the process. As a kid, I just 'did it' and gave it much thought.

Jim