What't the funniest thing ever to happen on board?

[Billy V]

I saw a thread over on another board about "Odd Occurrences" that have happend on board the boat, and it made me think about a funny story that happened to me a number of years ago. What's the funniest thing to ever happen on board your boat? Here's one of mine:

About 18 years ago, I was fishing off of the mouth of the Genesee river in October with my high-school best friend. He had never been out fishing with me before, so he didn't really know what to expect. The screen was lit up with fish, but we just couldn't get anything to fire. After his third or fourth cup of coffee, my buddy gets up and goes to the back of the boat to use the "executive washroom" (aka rusty Maxwell House pee can). Now my buddy is a big guy, so he completely unbuckles his belt and pants so he can pee. He has his britches down around his waist and has just about filled the pee can when the rod right next to him fires. I start yelling "Grab the rod...GRAB THE ROD!!!" He has no idea what to do, so he drops the full pee can all over his feet and grabs the rod. He starts cussing his wet feet while the fish takes off for Canada, and he's trying to pull up his pants. The fish stops its run and turns back towards the boat, so now he has to have both hands on the rod & reel to pick up line. As soon as he lets go of his pants, they go all the way to the "wet" floor, and he's standing there bare-assed fighting this King, cussing up a blue streak. "G-Damn, Mother F-er" he says...Then he has the audacity to ask me to pull his pants back up for him! I just looked at him and said "Buddy, I like you an awful lot, but not THAT much!" I'm laughing hysterically at him, and he's getting really pissed that I wont help him. He's trying to fight the fish and pull up his pants all at once. He just about gets them up when we take an awkward wave and he loses his balance and falls onto the "wet" floor of the boat. Needless to say, he's cursing more than ever now, but to his credit he never let go of that rod. He gets his fat, "wet" butt back up and lands a 20# King, all the while completely bare-assed. Funniest thing I've even seen on the boat. Of course, I didn't have a camera on board. I laughed so hard that my stomach hurt for days afterward!

Our 25th High School reunion is coming up in a couple of years, and I can't wait to re-live that story with him...haven't seen him in 10 years or more.

[Mick]

This didn't happen on the boat , but on the way to it. Back about 14 0r so years ago I worked as a mate on a charter as a high school summer job. One morning in the middle of the summer after countless straight days working I woke up late one morning and missed my ride. Since I lived right across the creek and only about a mile away from the marina I figured I'd just get going and run up to the parkway and over the bridge. Well it was still dark out and on my way down from the parkway and through the tall grass I looked down and seen a pair of glowing eyes and heard the animal squeal and a hiss as I accidentaly stepped on it. :shock: :shock: :shock: As that scared the you know what out of me and made me run even faster I began to notice a peculiar smell that didn't seem to get any less strong no matter how fast I ran or further I got away from the Parkway. I HAD BEEN SPRAYED BY A SKUNK When I got to the boat the captain made me throw my clothes away and put on a full rainsuit as I didn't have any other clothing around. Of course it had to be one of the hottest days of the year but our clients had one of the best charters and everyone including most of the marina when we got back to the dock had one heck of a laugh that day. Every once in a while someone says to me remember when and all I can do is laugh. I guess sometimes it's better to stay on the beaten path and not take the shortcut through the long grass. Mick

[FISHINMAN]

Billy I'm in damn tears after reading it!!!!!!

I have two. First was when we used to be able to fish in front of Guinea (Sp?) power plant, I had a buddies boat and was out at night in the cold with a friend of ours and I turn around towrds the front of the boat and he's got his bright orange hunting pants pulled down and he's taking a dump into a AM/PM coffee cup :shock: like a carvel ice cream cone! I then look over after I make a cast and I see pieces of my coffee cup floating by that he used to wipe his crack!

Next one is really kinda weird. I was out the with a friend in his boat trolling about 20 years ago fishing out near the 150 foot markers west of the Genny and it's about 90 degrees out. IT'S A SLOW DAY! All of a sudden he decides to dive off the front of the boat to swim while we are trolling. So he's swimming along infront of the boat when a rod fires. I grab the rod and we land a nice 20+ lb salmon. About 1/2 hr later again he decides to go in for a dip and sure enough bang a rod fires again. Land that one too.

[danjr]

Not proud of this but nonetheless funny!

We were out 400ft of water off Oswego and I have the sudden urge to take a dump. I couldn't make it back to port (we do not have a head in the boat) so my father hands me a SMALL bucket and a plastic bag and proceeds to almost laugh himself to death as I struggle with the idea of going over the gunnel or in the little bucket about to crap myself. It was bumpy out deep that day and the water was cold so I elected the bucket. To add to it we did not have any toilet paper on the boat so I had to use a paper bag that we had some frozen meat in. :shock:

Very close to one of the most embarassing things I've done in my life. Taking a dump in a tiny bucket in rough seas while trying to keep on target at the back of the boat. At the same time my father is telling me I'm gassing him out between fits of laughter. At times we call the boat the Brown Star for obvious reasons. Let's just say I'm better prepared now.

[Yankee Troller]

When me and my brother were younger my dad took us across the lake to Cohberg for some Canadian summer fishing with another group of guys. Man do they have it good over there in the summer! So were fishing and a fish hits. Something happened to the reel and we had to cut the line and tie it to another rod and reel. Well after we finished tieing it up to the other rod and reel the guys noticed that they never took the line out of the other rod. So here we are on video camera fighting a Salmon with 2 rods.

[UpGrady]

Could probably fill up the board with this one...

1.) All of the mates enjoyed trying to get clients sick onboard the other boards when it was rough, so this one August day was no different... nice rough day, banter all over the radio about peanut butter and lard sandwiches, pickle juice with lemonade, pork rinds any bad food is free game... well my boat had an annoying little boy that was starting to feel it, sitting right across from the captain, he's laying it on thick to him about all kinds of bad food when the kid projectile vomits all over him, just covers the captain from head to waist!

2.) Had a grilling party one night and decided to wrap italian sausages into condoms and string them up one of the captains outriggers for the morning... little did we know that he would have a couple women on board the next morning and of course the wrapped sausages would fall to the deck when he hit the first wave in the morning!

3.) Standing rule onboard my Dad's boat was no dumping in the portapot, unless it was the captain, so the vision of one of my buddies deciding he'd rather park his drunk white _ss on the gunwale between the two riggers, drop tro and go to work will forever be engrained in my head.

4.) Had four very large black guys on a charter, regular charter for years, and they brought plenty of Soul Food with them every year... when it got to be about the right time of the morning... the 4 sweet potatoe pies would come out... I swear each of them had four hands as they all dove in fist and all... something I'll never forget.

5.) One of our regular crazy charters, drunk as a skunk, catchs a 20lber , stands up on the doghouse with his catch, starts kissing it, fills its mouth with his beer, lip locks the salmon and chugs his beer!

I better stop now... I might start incriminating a few people...

[Rob]

Fishing scum lines in the summer, an old Charter Captain I worked for

told the clients if they hook a rare Genesee River White fish they needed to take it off them self. Used condoms for those who never landed one.

[big_fishman]

1. In my precharter days My dad and I went out on Lake Michigan in a small runabout. I took my buddy Mike with us one day. Mike is not the the most motivated person. We learned he could not drive the boat staight at all. Well, we got a nice king on and it was my dads turn to real one in. Mike goes up to drive and I am on the net. well, I get ready to net the fish and the outboard starts getting louder, next thing I know I am heading for the drink and the boat is taking off. My dad grabbed me by the belt and the fish was pulled out of the water like skier and broke the line, we looked up and Mike had fallen asleep on the throttle. Needles to say he did not drive after that. I look back now and it is funny.

2. Before I was legal age to drive I convinced my mom to take my brother and I out in the boat. All she had to do was drive as she was afraid of the water. She kept shutting the depth finder off and heading towards shore because the deep water scared her. We finally managed to get a fish on and she tries to cut the line because we were scaring her. We never asked again.

3. My fishing buddy and myself were fishing off of the Kewaunee discharge in a small 14 foot aluminum boat casting for kings in August. You name it we did it. One trick was grabbing the other guy's lure as they casted. Well, my buddy, Tom, was teasign me as I retied by dangling his lure in from of me and getting me to react like he was going to cast. Well, I just ignored him. The lure was in my face again so I ignored it like before except this time he is casting. The Mr champ finds my eye brow. WEll, Tom thinks I am holding on to his lure with my hands so he starts pulling all the time looking away. :shock: I finally got his attention and we both got the giggles as we tried to get it out. It was in to the barb. We ended up pulling it through and clamping the barb down. The other boats just looked in amazement, and in few minutes we were fishing again....

[fishfearme]

Didn't happen on the boat, but I'm sure Erbyjoe remembers walking to get more shiners

Johnny

[Dance the Tides]

I was fishing the Oswego before they put the linear park in. I was with my brother and a friend of mine. All of a sudden my brother lost his balance and went in feet first way down and outta sight. My friend and I got on our knees looking for him when he pops straight up, hat still on, fishing rod and all. We grabbed him and hauled him up on the rocks. After a minute to contemplate the close call, my buddy asked him “Well, did you see any fish down there?â€Â

[Fishstix]

Back in the mid 70's when I was stationed in Biloxi Mississippi. We rented a boat and fished the back bay. There was a sewage treatment plant there and well you can imagine back then how the water quality was.We anchored in the discharge and my buddy goes to cast and the rod flies right out of his hand. It was a new rod and he decided to go in after it the water was only a little over waist deep. After about a half hour of feeling the bottom with his feet he decided it was gone. I pulled the anchor and the rod was caught on the anchor line. Those Kentuckey boys are tough.

[seasquirrel]

OK Billy you have my curiousity. Who the heck was it in the boat who pissed all over?

[tom146306]

We were anchored under the driving Pk bridge and went to pull the anchor up and it was stuck. We got two people on the rope a pulled up a entire bike, luckly no one was attached to it.

Near seth Green island my anchor also grabbed on to a car starter.. Gots to love the genesee river.

[LongLine]

Trolling off Charlotte beach yrs ago, I caught a wallet with no ID and $220 hidden in a "secret" compartment.

Tom B.

(LongLine)

[fishfearme]

Went to Lake George with Erbyjoe in the mid 80's trolling for salmon and lakers. Fishing 40-50 down over 140-150. One morning while trolling by Green island one of the downriggers fires and I grab the rod. We had been catching smaller salmon and lakers up to 3-4 lbs and lots of them. This one felt HUGE I could barely move it, reel down pump up, reel down pump up. This went on for 5-10 min and we backed the boat over the "fish". Next thing we see is a yellow rope and Erby grabs it, ended up pulling up a 10lb anchor and 100ft of anchor line :shock:

John

[Billy V]

Seasquirrel,

To protect the innocent, I'll keep his real name secret. But you may have known him as my high school class President....